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The following story was written by Hank Rempel, a senior living in B.C. He is hoping to have these and several others he has written published. Does anyone know how he might accomplish this? Email him at rempel@island.net with any suggestions.
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Hot Stuff
I'll begin by telling you of my mother-in-laws technique for drying clothes. She would drape them over the oven door,leaving it partially open,& roast them dry. One day while I was going to be late for work , my wife gave a pair of my pants, the same quick dry treatment. She dried the legs first, & then reversed them & dried the remainder. As I was late, I couldn't wait for them to cool, so I just put them on. In my haste I managed to brush the zipper against my pride & joy. I let out a yelp ! & began inspecting my doodler. My wife thought it all was so funny, & was wondering if the name "Lightening" had transferred a brand onto my own little zipper. Shortly after that incident, I had been in a downhill slalom, ski race, for novices. Bound by that competitive spirit, I flew down the mountainside, stretching muscles far beyond their limit. A few hours later I knew that I was in for a bad time with sore inner thigh muscles, already throbbing. I stopped at a drug store on my way home, and bought some of this fancy new "Heat" linament, that was currently being advertised on T.V. When I got home, I had a nice hot shower, & tossed the linament to my wife saying, " Here, Give me a good rub down with this , will you?" I'm one of these guys that read directions ,after things don't go right, so instead of lightly swabbing the stuff on with the applicator supplied . I spread eagled on the bed,face up, & had her give me a good coating of it. When she was finished , I rolled over, bringing my now wet with linament,legs together, annointing my privates with this fire, from hell !! KEEERIIIST !!!! As I Leapt to my feet, & bolted for the bathroom. I filled the pedastal sink with water, & straddled it, & launched my parts into the cool water. Soap !! Lots of Soap !! As I furiously scrubbed away, my wife was rolling on the kitchen floor, in uncontrolled laughter,I must have been a sight spread eagled over that little sink. I had a personal friend who was a surgeon, so I phoned Joe up, telling him what happened. Soon he was howling with laughter. He asked what I'd done to get rid of the pain, & when I told him ,he said " I can't give you any advice, cause youv'e already done it all" with that he hung up the phone.
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