Author Unknown (if anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know)
Someone just wrote and told me that this was written by Art Linkletter and was first published in 1989. Thanks Jan!
I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being
old... How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare
at the
walls or watch TV.
So last week, when the mayor suggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen
Week by
cheering up a senior citizen, I determined to do just that. I would call
on my
new neighbor, an elderly retired gentlem an, recently widowed, who, I
presumed,
had moved in with his married daughter because he was too old to take
care of
himself.
I baked a batch of brownies, and, without bothering to call (some old
people
cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day.
When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door dressed in
tennis
shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny
Osmond.
"I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced myself, "but
I'm
due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semi-finals today."
"Oh, that's all right," I said. "I baked you some brownies...."
"Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need for bridge
club
tomorrow! Thanks so much!"
"...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay! I'll just run
across
the street and call on Granny Grady...."
"Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called to
remind her
of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She
mentioned
at breakfast that she had an appointment for a tint job."
I called my mother's cousin (age 83); she was in the hospital... working
in the
gift shop. I called my aunt (age 74); she was on vacation in China. I
called my
husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot; he was on his honeymoon.
I still dread old age, now more than ever. I just don't think I'm up to
it.
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