The Sunday edition of The Province of Vancouver screamed "No Sens, no feeling." It referred to the Stanley Cup finals between the New Jersey Devils and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. For Canadian fans, now that the Ottawa Senators have been sent to the sidelines after a less-than-stellar effort against 'Noo Joisey,' they have little to cheer about. First, it was the Vancouver Canucks who came up lame against a Minnesota team that put most spectators to sleep after five minutes of sluggish, trap play. The Canucks primary weaknesses were twofold: one, they read and believed their press - the stories that claimed the team was virtually invincible and had a lock on the Stanley Cup finals - and two, their goaltender showed that he is at best a reasonably good backup but far from being a first stringer. When push came to shove, the Canucks folded; they stunk up the place and a week or so later, few cared about them. They are yesterday's bad news best left to wrap rotten fish in. So, do the few hockey fans that remain on the West Coast cheer for the Mighty Ducks with their superb Vancouver-area captain, Paul Kariya? Or, do they cover their heads in shame and toot a horn for the Devils from faraway New Jersey? Possibly, nobody here on the West Coast cares one way or the other; there are many other things to do at this time of the year other than sit inside and watch two boring teams trap each other to a standstill. [Golf is popular year round.] If there is one redeeming grace in the Stanley Cup finals it is that two outstanding goalies - both French Canadian - will battle to see who wins the 'Most Valuable Player Award.' My money is on Jean-Sebastain Giguere although I would not be too disappointed if Martin Brodeur won it; after all, he backstopped Canada to the Olympic Gold in Salt Lake City.
My hat's off to Annika Sorenstam; she gave it her best shot and even though she missed the cut - by four strokes - at the Colonial Open, she deserves all the accolades that come her way. Perhaps her greatest moment came when she admitted, openly, that, "It was a great week but I've got to go back to my tour, where I belong."
Sorenstam showed the golf world what most already knew: a female golfer is in over her head when she takes on male golfers head to head. Ms Sorenstam did well, make no mistake about that; she out drove some of her male counterparts and outscored more than two dozen on her first round. As one of the male golfers said after she had missed the cut, "I'm proud to stand next to her; she's got a lot of game." One other added, "I'd trade my swing for hers any day."
In the final analysis, Annika Sorenstam proved to herself that she could do well playing on a PGA course but not well enough to beat the big guns of male golf. By now, there are many more male and female golfers who know why she is the world's top female golfer. Rank her in with the boys, and she would be ahead of many of the better known male players. We should all applaud her effort and give her a deserved 'thumbs up' for the guts to lay it all on the line in front of the world. I wonder if Babe Didrikson Zaharias is smiling down from that great green in the sky.
Now for a bit of silliness to brighten your day and lighten your load.
These 'Clever Puns' were culled from April 2003 edition of the Federal Superannuates National Association Vancouver Branch Newsletter.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.
A good pun is its own reword.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
Dijon-vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
When you dream in colour, it is a pigment of your imagination.
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