by Bonnie Davis
Gladys Trimm is a woman known to many, and has many different roles to fill in her life. She is sister, daughter, care giver, grandmother, wife, friend, and for me, I have the blessing of being able to call her ‘Mom’. She raised four children into adulthood, almost single handedly, and she did it well. Her love is boundless and her energy unmatched. She is a source of inspiration to more people than she will ever know. The four of us siblings have all received our education and are independent and self-supporting; my parents expected nothing less, and we did our best to make them proud. My father wanted it that way and my mother encouraged and supported us in every sense of the word. Therefore we are able to take our place in the world, be independent, and it is a a source of accomplishment for my mother that we, in spite of all our family has endured, were and are successful people.
Twenty-five years have passed since my father, Algernon Trimm, suffered a life-altering accident aboard his boat the ‘Sea Queen’. The accident changed his life, and the life of our family forever. To put the story of my Mother in perspective I first need to tell you about that tragedy that changed the course of their lives.
Together Mother and Father worked hard, led a good life, and were a strong team, with the ability to handle the upsets and problems that life presents to us. They were raising their family, sharing the load, loving each other and their children, and life was good.
My father was a vigorous, vibrant man, just forty-three years old, when his future as an active man was stolen. He had been raised as an only child by his Aunt and Uncle in the small community of English Point, on the coast of Labrador. This small community was made up of just one hundred or so citizens, and making a living was difficult under the best of circumstances. So my father spent most of his life working away from home in Churchill Falls as a construction worker. He also worked on a seasonal basis as a mechanic with the Department of Transportation.
In 1978 he made the decision to put that way of life aside and start a new life on the sea, fishing side by side with his seventeen-year-old son Gaius.
On May 26, 1980, he and the crew, including his son, Gaius, left Cow Head on their boat to begin fishing. It was a brilliant, beautiful, spring day when the four man crew steamed the ‘Sea Queen’, a vessel fifty-three feet long, out to about twenty-five miles offshore to begin their work.
It was an uneventful trip, until approximately 2:15 P.M.. With the four men in their usual positions they started hauling the last fleet of ten nets. Gaius was behind Dad cleaning the fish out of the nets, while the others were pulling back the nets to the stern, preparing to set them again. There was no warning of the disaster that was about to hit, a disaster that would change Dads’ life, and ours, forever.
Dad was working the gurdy (winch). The position he was in did not allow a good view of what really happened, but somehow he got caught in a net, and consequently was pulled around the gurdy. Before Gaius realized what had happened, and cut the power to the winch, Dad was wrapped around the winch so far that his body became jammed against a steel pipe that was bolted to the wheelhouse. The winch was powerful enough to haul more than a ton of nets, so the hydraulic-powered machine hardly slowed as my fathers’ head was pulled, twisted and forced back over his shoulders. Although it took just seconds for Gaius to hit the kill switch to the machinery it was too late. Dads’ neck was broken and his spinal cord forever damaged.
The three remaining crew untangled him from the web of nets, then cut the nets loose. Gaius, his son, held him until the boat reached the wharf where an ambulance was waiting. Dad was taken to the nearest hospital, located in Woody Point, and from there airlifted to the Health Science Center, in St. John’s. He remained unconscious. After five days he remembers floating into consciousness, seeing something white in his line of vision . That something was his nurse in Intensive Care, a place he would come to know well.
When the phone call came from Aunt Ethel Jarvis in St. John’s she had bad news to tell us.I clearly remember her words.
She said "Allie is paralyzed. The doctors say he will never walk again."
Right away we knew my father would be robbed of the future he wanted and desired so much. That moment is engraved on my heart. I recall the sad silence in our home that followed that phone call. It was a home that was changed forever.
Mom had to be the tower of strength for us all in the coming weeks, months and years. She did it, and she did it well. She was, and still is, a tribute to womanhood, and to motherhood.
The man we all knew as being a hard worker, providing a good life for his family, the man who had endless energy, the man with a strong will and multiple skills, the man people called day or night for his expertise and mechanical ability, the man who had so much to offer, was a different person, confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
He also was a man that was one day short to qualify for Workmans’ Compensation.
His wife and life partner, my mother, was a rock, and an anchor in this storm. She moved us to St. John’s in 1980, and we stayed there for two years. Mom spent her time at Dads’ bedside. She, and us, hoped, prayed, and waited for a recovery.
Mom had to adapt to a life in the city, a daunting task in itself. But she never wavered, She was the captain in this storm and she ran a tight ship. Gaius took over the ‘Sea Queen’, and Bonnie cared for ten-year-old Lois and three-year-old Dwayne. Mom was at the helm and she established a routine, all the while not wanting to leave Dad on his own without her. Everyone turned to her for guidance and the hugs that healed the broken hearts.
What an incredibly difficult and challenging role she had now? She became the primary care-giver to a disabled spouse, with a family to care for as well. She would be asked "How do you ever manage it all?"
She had no answer, and she still doesn’t.
She had a job to do and do it she would. The frustrations, disappointments, anger and confusion, were kept to herself. Their life as a couple had changed, and our family had changed. Mom did everything humanly possible to maintain her husbands’ dignity and independence, meanwhile neglecting her own health and personal well-being, never taking time to relax, time she needed to recharge her batteries. She just kept going.
Relaxation was a luxury she could not afford. She had continuous stress and fatigue, and was facing a serious financial situation. She was spiraling downward, life seemed out of control, as she went from day to day doing her endless tasks of being a primary care giver to my father, overseeing the running of the boat, and stress finally became distress. If she could not accomplish something asked of her, she felt that she was a failure. Finally there were times when anger surfaced, anger at the loss of her relationship to the man she loved, and anger that she could do nothing to make him better.
Eventually it all took its’ toll as she developed a sleep disorder, anxiety, exhaustion and social withdrawal. She put her family first, now it was time for the family to stop and think about her.
We were very fortunate and thankful that we had Nan and Pop Trimm. All throughout the years they were there for us providing support and love. Uncle Stan and Aunt Elsie as Dad called them, were devoted parents and grandparents to all of us. With them, and their care and kindness, the burden was lighter to carry. We will be eternally grateful that we had them in our lives.
Our parents inspired us with their Faith in God. We were raised with biblical principles, strong values, an open bible and prayer. Discipline was implemented when required, and we KNEW it was necessary! We were encouraged to work hard and make a good life for ourselves, but to always put God first. My Mothers’ faith and constant endless love kept our family on track, she never faltered in her faith although the storms would rage at times, we got through with her at the helm.
My parents are now blessed with seven healthy grandchildren. Christopher Davis, nineteen years old, Traci, fifteen years old, Heather, now thirteen and Mika, who is seven. Then they have also, Matthew and Mark Wyatt, seven and five respectively, and Alexis Trimm, the youngest, at just two years of age.
Mom and Dad are proud of them all, and love them dearly. Alexis, because she is the youngest, brings much delight. All their grandchildren add joy and laughter to their world.
Mom has been an inspiration to our family, and to those who know her by her unselfishness, willingness, and dedication to Dad for twenty-five years. Her encouragement and compassion shown through the heart breaking wreckage of their lives is admirable.
If we could give you a gift Mom, we would give you the ability to see yourself as others see you, then you could really see how very special you are. You come in and out of our lives and leave footprints and memories engraved on our hearts forever. Your courage in the face of adversity, and your inner strength is truly a blessing to us all.
You are a shining gem to each of us. You cast a gift into our hearts that would be as giving as a gift from the angels. We appreciate the love you have shown to each of us, your devotion and determination to keep our family together, and last but not least, the way you have cared for Dad all those years. You are indeed a true ‘woman of heart’, a woman with great faith, and a wonderful role model to many.
We love you Mom, more than you know, and we will continue to love you,
forever-- plus one day!
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