First, it seems that in today's society formal introductions have been replaced with a faux friendliness. How many times have people answered a telephone call only to have a stranger greet them addressing them by their first name? It matters not that the caller is calling from a company or from an agency of some type; always, it seems, the callers begin with "Hello John." [Or Susan or whatever the called person's Christian name is.] I find this most unwelcome and quickly ask if we have been formally introduced. The answer is always, "No." My response to that is that until we do and until I feel comfortable having the caller address me by my Christian name, I prefer to be addressed by my surname. For the most part, the caller is left rather speechless because in his or her undisciplined world, everybody is addressed by his or her Christian name. Perhaps I am a bit old fashioned in that regard, but my dear mother, long since departed, would have a fit if I were ever to display such poor manners.
Second, I find it more than rudeness that causes people to shove between two others who are carrying on a personal conversation. That the rude person does such is bad enough but then not to acknowledge the rudeness by a simple "Excuse me" makes the crime all the more distasteful. Lack of manners should not be an excuse for rude behaviour; however, it seems to have become the norm.
Third, the idea that a gentleman holds a door open for a lady should not be considered an 'old fashioned' trait that is discarded as easily as yesterday's garbage. Along with holding doors, gentlemen used to walk on the outside - that is, the street side - of a sidewalk when escorting a lady. Moreover, gentlemen removed their head-dress in elevators when ladies were present. We do not see much of that these days nor do we see another gentleman-thing, that is, the removal of head-dress when in a restaurant or hospital. Today, the standard appears to be that men - who can call them gentlemen? - wear their hats/caps/ tougues/sombreros/etc. without regard to common manners. Of course, the 'wimmin's lib' movement might have had a strong hand in knocking down the standard of manners that were taken for granted by both gentlemen and ladies a few years ago.
Third, and this one has been a thorn in the side of many for decades, people who talk when they ought to be listening. These types seem to be more interested in what they are about to say than they are in listening to what is being said by the speaker. In the theatre, I believe that is called 'stepping on another's lines.' It has been said that the best speakers are those who listen well.
Finally, is chivalry dead? If so, should it remain buried or should it be resurrected and have new life breathed into it and re-introduced to society? My vote would be yes. I feel strongly that we need to return to a more courteous time when people were civil to one another.
Now, if we can get men to remove their caps, a fine beginning will have begun.
Bob Orrick is a private tutor of English grammar, literature, poetry and Canadian history to off-shore youngsters. His pupils hail from such places as Taiwan, China, Japan, Hong Kong, Korea and Venezuela. He was previously in international marketing, was a ministerial assistant to a provincial cabinet minister, spent a few years as a reporter then editor of a community newspaper and enjoyed a career in the Royal Canadian Navy.
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