I read the other day that the Queen of England is visiting Canada and
dropped a
hockey puck to start a game. It must have been one of those honorary
things,
since she walked over the ice on a red carpet and no one attacked her.
Hockey is a mystery to me. I gather that the idea is for each team to
choose a
champion, who then fight each other for a while. Then the teams come out
and
skate around, which must be their way of choosing the next champions. The
whole
thing is complicated by the teams swatting at the "puck" with sticks.
Maybe the
game was invented by fur trappers, and this is symbolic of their driving
varmints out of their camps. I notice that there are cages at either ends
of
the ice, and that when a puck (or varmit) is driven into the cage, a
siren
sounds and a rotating red light flashes. It's a good thing they make a
big deal
out of it, because I can never see the thing being propelled into the
net. It
doesn't make much difference, anyway, since everything in hockey is a
prelude
to another fight.
I know less about royalty than I do hockey, I guess. Royalty is one of
those
things that looks better on the surface than it does up close. I'm glad
the
Queen wasn't attacked; she's got enough on her plate with that family of
hers.
Prince Charles must be a real trial, running around with Camilla and all.
It's
enough to test a mother's patience. It's not like the old days, when you
could
order people's heads off on a mere whim. What's the use of being a
sovereign if
you can't have people executed when they chap your hide?
I'll bet the Queen sighs nostalgically for the days when Peter the Great
ordered party guests to stand still while he pulled their teeth (this is
true)
to amuse himself. No doubt she is sympathetic to the Emperor Claudius,
who used
to order people put to death, then wondered where they were the next
night at
dinner.
Maybe she'll go to Toronto and throw out the first pitch (the Montreal
Expos
may be gone before she gets there).
Dick Monagahn lives in Vancouver, WA and is a regular contributor to "The Tale Spinner", a newsletter published by Jean Sansum. To subscribe to this weekly newsletter, send an email to Jean at Jeans@mindlink.bc.ca.
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