There is a strange - or, possibly not so strange - phenomenon taking place in Canada, and probably, elsewhere. More and more, it seems, common courtesies have been bypassed in favour of rudeness. More and more, one witnesses rude behaviour where a few years ago, common courtesies were the standard. No longer does one see a male take off his hat when in an elevator when a female is present. Nor, does one observe a male assisting a female with her coat, either putting it on or taking it off. Gone are the days, it appears, when a man and woman walked side by side along a sidewalk with the man outside next to the roadway. Gone, too, are the days when a group of people - young or not-so-young - would, when walking along a pathway, split into single file to allow others on the same pathway approaching them to safely pass. Today, it seems, these 'path crowders' simply push their way past the on-comers without any sense of common courtesy.
How many times has a male entered a hospital wearing a hat or cap and not removed it? Too many, it seems. For far too long, males who ought to know better insist on wearing a cap or hat in a restaurant [or, other eatery] while eating a meal. These same males also wear their caps or hats inside others' homes. Moreover, these males and some females insist on putting their feet on the coffee tables in homes of those being visited. Additionally, how many times have we seen females - and some males - sit on a chair with their feet to the side so that the end of the chair [or chesterfield] is pushed and destroyed? Far too often!
The common courtesy of a man holding a door for a woman is long gone, it appears. No longer does one see a male - even a husband or fiancé - opening and holding a vehicle door for his spouse or dear friend. Mostly, the unthinking and obviously uncaring male simply unlocks the vehicle's driver door, opens it and enters the vehicle without any thought given to his wife or fiancé. While come feminists might denounce the age of chivalry, there are still some men among us who think that chivalry was a wonderful way for a man to show respect to a woman. Along that line, no longer are men assisting women across a street. It seems that today, it is everyone for him/herself in that regard.
What about a man holding a lady's chair when she sits or rises from a table? Not in style anymore; gone like so many of the common courtesies that were standard not so many years ago. Why, one wonders, have all these wonderful expressions of consideration for another gone to be replaced with rudeness, lack-of-consideration or downright stupidity?
Far too many people - both youth and adults - have either lost or have not been taught the idea that to interrupt another while that person is speaking is rude and displays poor manners. Yet, this is a common occurrence. Butting in has become acceptable. Also acceptable these days, is the practice of speaking with a mouthful of food. Yuk!
As Pete Seeger wrote in his song - Where have all the flowers gone? where have all the courtesies gone?
The answer, I think, lies in the lack of education that children receive both at home and at school. In my journey through life, I have witnessed teachers who cannot or simply chose not to express common courtesies to others. Often, those others are their pupils who are the result of a union of two non-caring, poorly-educated [not academically but generally] and certainly devoid of common courtesies parents. And whose fault is that? Probably, their environment when they were young and resentful and rebellious and active members of the 'anti-establishment' crowd of the 1960s and 1970s. [Seeger's days.] Those were the days when sensible people acted irresponsibly and liked what they saw and/or did and 'anti-establishment' with its courtesies to one another and became a mantra.
Television and second-rate Hollywood movies have spawned a generation of foul-mouthed children and adults who think nothing of spouting their profanity in public. To hear children not yet in their teens shouting obscenities at one another or at passers-by is downright hurtful. Where did such babes learn such vile language? Again, I have heard such garbage from teachers and other adults who ought to know better.
Canada is not a better place for such disregard for common courtesies. Rudeness has become accepted as normal and courtesies are seen as 'old fashioned' and stupid. Profanity passes for sensible language. Nor, it seems can today's youth - and far too many adults, including teachers - string together a sentence without the misuse of 'like' or 'you know' or 'for' or ending their verbal intercourse with 'eh!'
Bob Orrick is a retired private tutor of English grammar, literature, poetry and Canadian history to off-shore youngsters. His pupils hail from such places as Taiwan, China, Japan, Hong Kong, Korea and Venezuela. He was previously in international marketing, was a ministerial assistant to a provincial cabinet minister, spent a few years as a reporter then editor of a community newspaper and enjoyed a career in the Royal Canadian Navy.
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