Does Today's Mom Work Harder Than Housewives of Grandma's Generation?
by Cookie Curci
Today's mom has learned to adapt to a barrage of digital computerized
appliances that would have scared the daylights out of Grandma. She's the
family member who sets the digital alarm clock every night and the automatic
coffee maker every morning.
Today's savvy Mom carries her own cell phone and pager so she can be
located quickly. But even with all this modern technology, today's
mass-transet world has made it almost impossible for modern moms to keep track of their
mobile family's whereabouts. And today's Mom must deal with that old bugaboo
"peer pressure" in a way grandma's generation never had to.
Grandma believed a woman's place was in the home. "A mother should
be at home when the children arrive from school" , she would often say to
her daughter-in-laws. " My Mama was always there waiting for her family - the
smell of dinner already simmering on the stove".
I've got to agree with Grandma. Arriving home from school and findin
g Mom in the kitchen cooking up one of her mouthwatering stews, fried chicken
dinners or fragrant roast beef suppers drew us home like a magnet. And when we
got there, Mom always had something for us to do- a chore to carry out. "I'm
bored", the lament of modern day kids, hadn't been coined yet.
While attending a family reunion, I overheard a friendly
conversation, between older and younger generations, erupt into a full fledged debate.
Some of the older folks, born between the 1920's and the 1940s, believed
that the mother's of today have it much easier than the wives and mothers of
their generation. Naturally, the younger women in the group felt otherwise,
arguing that they have a greater degree of emotional and mental stress to deal
with- inside, as well as outside, the home.
This wasn't the first time I'd heard this old, familiar, debate. The
same question has been argued among families for generations, ever since WWII
spawned "Rosie the Riveter" and American women entered the work force filling
jobs formerly dominated by men.
In Grandma's day , a mother's role was limited to her household
duties and to the nurturing of her family. It was Papa, the man of the house, who
worked outside the home, was the one to drive the family car, pay the
household bills, taxes and debts. He conducted all family business and financial
transactions.
Grandma had little reason to leave her home during her work day. Most
companies delivered her household goods directly to her back door and grocery
shopping for staples was done every other month.
Grandma's rambling spring garden supplied her family with fresh
vegetables and fruit. What her family didn't eat in the summer, Grandma put up
as preserves for the winter. Grandma planned her daily meals according to her
ripest vegetables: long zucchini , large egg plants and fresh eggs from the
chicken coop. On some days, it was Grandma who had to fetch a plump hen from
the same chicken coop- to cook for the family supper. Its safe to say, the
only chicken dinner today's housewife will cook is one that comes prepared and
warped at the grocery meat counter.
But today's housewife and mother argues that grandma's workday was a
lot simpler than hers. They say grandma had fewer demands put on her time
and a lot less responsibilities. " We're expected to bring in a paycheck,
run a household and be the perfect mother, too." Say the younger generation.
It's true. Today's Mom has a greater role to play in the household.
In addition to bringing in a paycheck, she's usually the keeper of the
checking account and the payer of all the monthly bills. She drives and maintains
her own car and, in most cases, is the family chauffeur, and must face the daily
grind and perils of freeway traffic.
By the end of the evening, the debate still raged on. Who has
it tougher, grandma or granddaughter? Passing generations will likely never
agree on an answer. But with the advent of home computers and more and more
businesses going on line, more housewives and mothers are working out of their
homes, and shopping right from their kitchen computers. The percentage of
housewives working from home, while managing to raise a family, has greatly
increased in the past several years. Perhaps the job of working mother is coming
full circle and the issue will soon resolve itself.
In 1955 working mothers with kids under age 6 represented only 18
percent of Americans work force. By 1990, the number had risen to more than 58
percent. Working moms with kids 6 to 17 years old soared to nearly 75 percent at
the beginning of the millennium.
When I look back on my Grandmother's life, to a time when few women
worked outside the home, I remember a certain simplicity to her lifestyle, a
contentment and uncomplicated enjoyment in her daily routine.
Her job as housewife and mother was an admired profession and one that her
granddaughters' aspired to achieve. She was happy living in a world where the
only "disk" she knew about was the one Papa pulled behind his tractor, a
"mouse" was something the cat dragged home, a "menu" was something she ordered
from in a restaurant , the only " Chip" she saw was made by a cow and "windows"
were panes she looked through.
For over 14 years, Cookie Curci wrote a popular nostalgia column for The Willow Glen
Resident. (The Silicon Valley Metro Newspapers...San Jose califonia)
www.metroactive.com. She's currently writing a column called "Looking Back" that
appears monthly in FRA NOI - a Chicago based newspaper. In additon she writes for
"Mature Living" in Toledo, Ohio, "Senior News" in West Virginia and THE WILLOW GLEN TIMES in San Jose. More about Cookie is at On Writing a Nostalgia Column.... If you would like to comment on an article, Cookie can be reached at Cookiecurci@aol.com.
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